Ignore your neighbor, as you would have your neighbor ignore you?

At the age of 28, I was teaching at Wright State University. I was living "the good life" as it had been presented to me by my church. I had a wife and two children who loved me,  and a solid job with a good future. My relationship with God through Jesus was warm and comforting. Prayer was a regular part of each day, we lived a simple life, and we had plenty of money to share with others. I was not the knock-down-drag-out evangelist that some of my Sunday School teachers would have liked, but I enjoyed discussing faith both in the church and with students at work. I loved teaching, and had as much leisure as I wanted.

I'm not quite sure when I realized how selfish I was, but it was sometime during that year.


During that year, I learned a fact that is obvious to many women but obscure to many men: a lot of men are focused primarily on themselves. I "worked" my forty hours a week - time that was spent doing things I loved - and then came home and did pretty much whatever I wanted. Kendall certainly spent time throughout the day reading a good book, but she also took care of the children and the apartment, cooked and cleaned, and volunteered at church and at school. I was very generous (in American terms) with money, but not at all generous with time. In terms of Wesley's 3 Simple Rules, I was great at "Do no harm" and "Attend to the ordinances of God," but "Do good" mostly meant "Do good to yourself."

How does one move from a life of "earn money while at work and play while at home" to "love everywhere?" For better or worse, I decided I would respond positively whenever asked to do a good deed. The word "no" (and "I'll pray about it" - churchese for "probably not") was struck from my vocabulary. It turned out to be an interesting year.

There were problems with this approach, and I don't recommend it. I ended up doing many things that would have been far better done by someone else, and towards the end of the experiment I finally ended up over-committed. But over the course of a year I realized that there was a great need for people who are willing to do good! The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.

We are not called to a life where our own needs are ignored: the fruit of the Spirit is joy, happy are the peacemakers, and Jesus attended enough parties for the charge "drunkard and glutton" to at least have a chance at sticking. Rest, hobbies, and possibly even "trifling away time" have a part in the Christian life. But these things are to be done with the aim of loving ourselves and loving our neighbors - not simply because they are the easiest things to do when we get home from work. If your neighbor's house is on fire, it's time to call 911 and see if you can be helpful - it's not time to turn on the TV. Who is your neighbor?

What do you think?
Who is your neighbor? How do you balance the importance of caring for yourself and enjoying God's creation with the importance of providing care to people in need? Recently, I think my attention has been focused too much on myself - I have used the excuse "I'm being paid quarter time" to trifle away many hours this summer. In a spirit of grace, knowing that you are loved by God and completely forgiven for every fault past, present, and future, be honest with yourself: how well do you spend your time?